From Combat to the Classroom
A Day in the Life of a Veteran at The University of Texas at Austin
By Laura Ohata
Photos by Marsha Miller
"A lot of times when people find out that I was in the Marines, one of the first questions they ask is, 'Did you serve in the Middle East?' Then, the majority of the time they ask, 'Did you kill somebody?'" Says David Martinez, a history and Islamic studies major at The University of Texas at Austin. "It's kind of awkward because sometimes the person asking is not necessarily someone I know very well, and it happens pretty often. A lot of times I just kind of laugh it off and say, 'Well, that's not something that a lot of people talk about.'"
Queries about combat seem harmless enough. It is only natural to learn through the experiences of others, but asking questions about the battlefield arouses symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as acute depression, guilt, shame and even anger. When asked how he responds, Martinez says, "It always depends on the context of the situation. If it is somebody trying to learn more about it, and if I think I can do it in a way that will help them understand the war, then I will tell them. If it is just somebody who has this morbid curiosity, then a lot of times I'll just leave it alone." While it is easy to romanticize the life of a soldier, the realities of combat take a much greater toll on the psyche. "PTSD is the inevitable consequence of combat," says Dr. Howard Prince, director of the LBJ School's Center for Ethical Leadership. "It took us ten years after Vietnam as a nation to acknowledge that." The former head of the Department of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership at West Point, Dr. Prince served as an infantry officer in Vietnam, and was wounded twice. "I spent a lot of time on PTSD in terms of research and teaching while I was in the Army." Prince says, "PTSD is the consequence of engaging in violence that leads to death and destruction. For most, just having a way to come together and relive the experiences that produced the trauma helps you put them in a safe place in your mind because they never go away. I say that combat causes wounds to our humanity. It injures our soul. The treatment for that is very simple. It's not to go to individual psychotherapy with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. It is to be able to establish links with other people who have had the same experience."
The reasons civilians enlist in the military vary from person to person, but according to Dr. Prince, most fall into two categories: Those who join for educational benefits, and those who join in looking for adventure. For David Martinez, it was a little of both. At age 17, he enlisted in the United States Marine Corps because he didn't feel that he was ready to go to college. Martinez matured in the military and by the time he was 20 years old, he was an E-5 Sergeant with 28 Marines under his command. After a little over four years of active duty, including a tour in Iraq, he returned to the United States in 2003. He enrolled in Austin Community College where he excelled. Then, Martinez applied to only one school. Martinez says, "I just wanted to go to UT and to be a Longhorn, and here I am."
If you get to know Martinez, he will tell you that he served as a technician in the Marines, loading missiles, rockets, bombs and other ammunition into the weapons systems of Cobra and Huey helicopters. "The helicopters and pilots would go do the missions. And, a lot of times, they would go out with ordnance and they would come back and they wouldn't have any." Martinez says, "The obvious assumption is that it was used against somebody. Kind of, indirectly, unfortunately things did happen."
The fact that the helicopters supported troops under attack provided Martinez distance from the combat experience, but some of his friends served in more direct circumstances. Martinez says, "I think any loss of life is unfortunate. Some of my friends would assault a building and fire into the building and all of a sudden, a person would fall down. They would be dead. The majority of veterans don't like thinking that they had any hand in ending somebody's life. They don't want to think that they took somebody's father away from them, or they took a brother."
Dr. Prince says that in spite of the Pentagon's Combat Exclusion Policy many women, who compose 20% of the active duty force, return from the service with the same types of issues men face. "There is no such thing as a frontline anymore. Everybody is in danger, so women have been awarded medals for bravery because they got into a bad situation and did what they were trained to do, and we call those people heroes."
Another difficult question veterans encounter is, "Did you lose any buddies?" Martinez says, "One of my best friends in the Marines, who unfortunately passed away in Iraq, was a huge part of his unit. Everybody liked him, and when he died it was a great loss. But, they were in a combat environment, and two days after he had passed and everyone was kind of trying to deal with it, they got called out on another mission, and had to go and do it. When that happens, you have to put your game face on and forget about everything else. You can't really think about whether or not your kids are unhappy, or you missed a birthday or something like that. You have to think about where you are at and the people around you so that no one else gets hurt."
The body of the Marine was shipped back to Central Texas for burial and his friends forced themselves to forget that he had died. Upon returning to the United States, many of them flew out to Central Texas to visit his cemetery. Martinez says, "Actually seeing his grave put a lot of emotional strain on them, and made them realize, 'Yeah, you know what? He died and we didn't have the ability to grieve.' So, I think people have to keep those little scenarios in mind. There could be a lot of painful and sometimes repressed memories that those questions evoke."
"It's still hard for me sometimes to think of my friend who passed. And I know numerous friends and their losses still weigh very heavy on my heart, but one in particular, his loss is the reason why I wear this bracelet. His family gave this to me and it just says, 'We will never forget.' and it gives the place, his unit and the day he died in Iraq and it means a lot to me. For me, not trying to repress it—that's how I deal with it. Losing him, it helps me focus and helps me realize that he is not going to have the opportunities that I have. For me, embracing his loss and remembering him every day, and trying to live a better life, that's how I deal with it. But, everybody's different."
Meeting a veteran for the first time can be awkward but a few topics help establish common ground. Martinez enjoys discussing his humanitarian aid efforts, "Marine expeditionary units deliver food and rice to East Timor, or help with tsunami relief. They deliver rice and medication to Somalia, or set up clinics in Iraq. A lot of people have those experiences. It's something that people really don't talk about but it paints a bigger and brighter picture of the military."
Most veterans would rather talk about sports, local restaurants, what they did last weekend, or what's on their iPod. "Socially, my sense is that veterans want to be treated like anybody else," says Dr. Howard Prince, "They want to be allowed to fit in and not be treated as somebody who is somehow different." Martinez says, "I just want to be a regular student. I did serve in the military. I was in the Marines. That's part of my history and part of my past and I'm not embarrassed to talk about it, but right now I'm just a student."
In partnership with other departments, the Office of the Dean of Students provides services and support to veteran students on campus. Currently, more than 400 veterans attend UT Austin, and the number is expected to rise in the coming years as the troops withdraw from Iraq. More information on resources available to veterans and students at The University of Texas at Austin may be found at deanofstudents.utexas.edu, or by calling 512-471-5017.